hearing aid: ben jelen's every step

i read through an email of old and i see it differently now.

i'm having one of those moments, where everything is from a 3rd person perspective, and i'm not encumbered by the emotions of the body i've been given. the only down side that i can think up of is the lack of human touch. it is the oiled works of the mind that is taught to be objective, so much so the machinery runs only on the fuel not the passion.

i realise that i didn't/haven't reply the email. i probably was too afraid of what i would've/could've said. now i think i shall reply - though it's long overdue. maybe someday you'll read it (the wonders of the internet - the ability to store information longer than any paper could prolly do.)

dear mr.,

it has been a while. and i do apologise for being this late, however, i was terribly caught up in the life that i was trying to lead/make for myself. now that i've grown in more ways than one, it's time to do what i can no longer put off - answering the questions you posed. i don't know if you have the questions somewhere, but i won't place them here.

firstly, i have never seen anyone commit or give so much in anything, and the amount you invested created a fear in me. a fear of the possibilities. secondly, i wasn't prepared to invest as much as you did. equal investors = equal returns - not giving the same amount would do you injustice.

worthiness places a question on subjectivity. if i had to ask of someone's worth, it would be callous of me to place a price over their head. the prospects you offered were of two incomparable subjects - a person and a lifestyle. maybe i should do a cba? when i do, i'll contact you again. haha.

someone once told me, "the right guy at the wrong time is still wrong. the wrong guy at the right time is still wrong." so, when the right guy comes at the right time - it is so rare, it is unlikely it would ever happen. but should this exceptional moment occur to me, my answer would be yes.

i'm not sure what is my take on sharing. i definitely understand what it entails but i'm unfortunately certain that i'm not one to be an emotional giver (now and then; the future is what we make of it). what i have is mine - i guess that is why i wasn't and am not able to share something as personal as what you asked of me. i once said, "i am an emotional equivalent to a block of ice".

i finally understand where you were coming from, and this is truly my mistake and doing of what has happened since. however, i do not feel a need for regret for the consequences of my actions, because i do not see a need to.

you gave me the time i needed, and now i hear news that you've already found what you've been looking for. i am pleased for you, truly i am. i hope that it works out for you as you've always imagined and dreamed it would. opportunities come once in a lifetime - or so we've been taught. so, seize each moment like seconds for a cicada who lives for a week from the time it leaves its underground home; appreciate all that come our way.

i've learnt many lessons since, and maybe someday when we're all grown up into the lives we wanted - may we meet and chat so to look back and smile.

yours sincerely,
ms valerie anne

people pick up scents on scandals and half truths - it's the lives we live. speak the truth, then everyone would have nothing to talk about. oh how boring we'll be.
we might kiss
when we're alone
when nobody's watching
i'll take you home

this blog was relevant to a ms. valerie anne from when she was studying mass communications in a singapore polytechnic.

she was aged 16 on her first post, and 18 on her last.

she is currently a freelance emcee-er/hostess.
contact her at
valerieanne @ cheerful.com

some might call me the ultimate sagittarian; free-spirited and whatnot, but i don't believe in horoscopes.

"everything gets complicated when you think. i don't discourage thinking, it's over thinking that i'm worried about." - val


none existent.


i've moved on.

shop alot?


. make Valerie Anne are big name
. publish a book entitled "you better quote val, or else" - recommended by derek goh
. open a clip-on earrings shop
. open a cafe
. learn/speak spanish
. skydive over mauritius waters
. bungee jump from a suspension bridge
. get back into my dancing shoes
. set a world record for the longest time on a roller coaster ride
. save an endangered species
. AND prove to my mum that i'll be married before 35. HAHA.


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