radio final practical test is on thursday and i lost my interviewee.
i'm so skrewed, and lost, and crying. i think i'm just breaking under the stress.

in tears i am torn
wishing i could turn back time
for i lost my greatest opportunity
only to be given a second chance
with another in time
i learn my mistake
hoping to change what i have
to be better than what was
so will you stand by me
and watch as i toss and turn
will you be the one to hold me
when i cry and tear and wail
i need you to be here
so where are you?

anyway, found someone to replace my doctor. puma. hurhur. am praying so hard that it works out fine for me. : )









i'm in one of those moods, those that leaves me hoping i was attached.
waiting for it to pass now.


i thought about you today
i wondered where you are
pondering on whether we'll ever meet again
you're my little secret tucked away in a corner

truths that are not told
are lies under the surface
but who is there to tell
because you're my little secret tucked away in a corner

for the fear of when we touched ground zero
the world will see
how you're so not made for me
you're my little secret tucked away in a corner

so tell me now and tell me true
will we meet again
and will we be as we were
for you're my little secret tucked away in a corner

of my heart.









it is the second last week of the first semester of the second year of the studies of mass communications.

if you read the sentence above twice, heh! : ) i love doing that to you. *grin*

anyhooha, this semester's been waaay weird. it seems like everyone's grown into - well, grown fullstop. and i kinda like the new people, never forgetting the old o' course.

so.

list of the happenings

• 3 new kittens - mocha, orea and (not fudge) but captain [the loudhailer]
• studiopro hosting for fsv: 3dash1/yoyo fanatics
• my first time using a yoyo (ok. the yoyo fanatics have stolen my virgin yoyo experience.)
• peeling the skin off my face - one time is plenty [read: horror flicks galore]
• being so hideous, i was unrecognisable. really.
• peeling the skin off my hands again.
• getting an A for radio dalet, time to check myself for talkshow
• doing latenighters for webd
• finding out really freaky things about adel (hurhurhur.)
• humming with adel to axn songtrips - csi junkies. *grin*
• and learning that my brother has really REAL issues - like whatever.
• back on my feet at ntu *grin*
• planning a trip to thailand, bangkok to have this uber huge gigantic humongous shopping spree!
• scandalous truths have been revealed (which i shall not reveal.)
• being told off to realise it's the wrong valerie *haha. - this is a good story.
• late night editing with beni - truth. i fell asleep real early (2am) leaving beni all alone. heh. sorry.
• finding out that i don't have to do my event: rachel's late [wondering whether i've posted that already. but i shall declare once again - i don't have to pull off my event. eat that.]
• trying to sell tickets for karen's club party for anti aids awareness (yes it's antiaids party at a club. ironic. but good selling point.)
• teethering on the edge of sanity before i bite someone
• and yes, acknowledging i have an addiction to _______.

i've never taken into account how much is overlooked in life. and today i shall start.

like how those people who clean your tables at lunch are rarely thanked sincerely. note the 'sincerely'.

how about your parents who make you breakfast even though you argued with them the night before and called 'em whateveryoucalled'em.

and then there's the little sparrows which hop about the bread bits that people leave for them. ever noticed how they enjoy it so simply and are absolutely grateful living off others like leeches.

then there is the life that people think is either too mundane, stressful or nothingness. just be glad you're living, damnit. ever thought what your life would be like if it were mundane and you had colon cancer? or if it were stressful and you had no one to share it with? or how about when life felt like nothing but there were people who looked at you because they cared more than you would ever know?


ok.

i'm just doing my editing now and needed a reliever. so here's the output of such occasions when you function at a whole other level that seems, sometimes, lightspeed. but then again, i think i'm not fast enough. ok, back to me overlooking the everyday things. anyway, my mum made me a sandwich this morning. and it was peanut butter.









on ren's birthday, we went craazy!

can't believe when they said to do something stupid, we really did it! and on camera! ok, don't you wonder: when you're comfortable and cool with being at your most stupid, and not be embarrassed.. that pretty much makes 'em friends right? : ) cool.

<-- look at this: adel's trying to eat up the cake. beni's roaring. liz oh liz, what a face! and gr takes the cake, looking prettyfine i gotta say.. haha. gr, keep the look! *grin* i'm really grateful for this class i've got. we are one wild whacked up group. attack!



here's ren attacking me!
with cake. *horror.


guess who won.

*kiss ren, don't be mad that you lost. you did get some cake on my beautiful skin in the end! : ) and you did get to chase eddie into the lil boys room! that's is the silver lining - just don't tell me what you saw. haha.

school's working itself out; i can't believe it's coming to an end: give it 2 weeks. then it's another sem, then 6 months of attachment then another sem of final studies. then it's the real world. ok, i need to rewind and enjoy now. people do that, rewind and enjoy the now. it's happening now. live now. : )









hearing aid: radio 987

today is Aug 15 2005 - (this is AP style. month [3letters], then date [without the 'nd'/'th'] and then year).

today is a special day. not only is it special because today is my mom's birthday and gabriel's birthday. but today is the day my mum and i hugged since godknows when (i'm thinkin' april.)

so it does look like our relationship is returning back to its prior form. it's taking its time, don't rush it or it might not fully form! yes i'll keep telling myself that.

anyway, mum's birthday was good. we didn't plan anything until the very afternoon of my mum's special day. we are procrastinators with a heavy dependence on people to whip up storms for us. heh. anyway, here's what we got for my mum. a black spaghetti, might i add, lacy top/ a tiered silver grey beaded necklace and a fr'ckin pink handphone.

my mum's the coolest chick.

we whipped up a party food, like mixmash of different types of foods. read this: roasted chicken, with sushi, mango cake, fruit punch with cocktails, mini sausages and a homemade salad with canadian vinagrette sauce. you'd think this is a wee bit much for 5 people, but believe me, the lim's are big eaters. we finished everything. underline everything. heh.

happiest birthday to the coolest mum i know. she lets me ride motorbikes, wear tubetops, shave my head and all stuff like that. pretty much the only thing she doesn't like me to do is bare my mid-drift and spend too much money (tell me which mum doesn't mind this!) haha.


here's a lil shoutout:
emiko. wherever you are. tmr's your birthday and i wished i could contact you to tell you i miss you and happiest birthday, you legal girl.









hearing aid: leann rimes "together, forever, always"

something's gotta give me butterflies
something's gotta make me feel alive
and something's gotta give me dreams at night
something's gotta make me feel alright
i don't know where it is
yeah, but something's gotta give

startled by some stupid ass phone call at 0830; my dumshit bro called just to ask me to unpulg his damn ipod so that it doesn't whacked. whatever. urk, roll over and die would you.

okay, i think it's time to refute any standing that i'm a bimbo/slut/dumb or incapable of making any decisions which require brains. i declare that i have brains, prolly make better decisions than most people, and i am able to create partial 3-d images. don't mess with this. i'm nice as it is, don't get me started. *be warned: i'ma very good bitch, one of the best most would say. ok. done wit' that. : )

just wanted to say, i'm in one of those moods: early in the morning, can't go back to sleep so i daydream of random topics (which i might add usually ends with how i'm oh-so-single.)











hearing aid: willy wonka & the oompa loompas
edibles: willy wonka's whipple scrumptious fudgemellow delight

charlie and the chocolate factory; another awesome job by tim burton. his humour is still as wicked as ever! simply adoring his works; can't wait for corpse bride to release (i think it's around halloween period!) i proudly declare that i've taken beni to her 2nd movie for the year (her first being coach carter!) - *Curtsies.

anyway, webd meeting today was hilarious. i've made a semi 3-d flash animation that barely makes past 30 seconds and adel has been able to create feet and fingers! *insert applause here. : ) but don't blow it all here, save it til we get the site done up and get back our well deserving A. and yes, i got an A for my first webd assignment! woohoo! : ) *jumps about crazily on her sofa.


happy moods: i think it is somewhat linked to roald dahl's charlie and the chocolate factory, but you'd think and wonder.
did you know that chocolate releases endorphins which make you happy, giving you the feeling as if you were in love? and that mixing chocolate with waterfalls makes the chocolate light and frothy, and willy wonka's factory is the only one that uses it? and that you could send a chocolate bar (including people) through the tv, but they'll only end up smaller on the other side? did you know that everything in willy wonka's factory room is edible, and so is he, just that it is called cannibalism and that it is frowned upon in most countries? also, did you know that oompa loompas actually are only knee high in roald dahl's books? and did you know that willy wonka's teeth are made of nice white mint chicklets? (i made the last one up. hehe.)










let's hope nothing like that comes my way.
"i'm just living."


happiest 18th birthday to my girlfriend, ren! you're an absolute charm that i hold dear in my life, and i'm so glad to have met you. may the new year be a blast for the 'lil miss eighteen ren! all my love, : ) i would prolly never forget the face you made after getting smashed. ren, thanks for the creamin' session, i love the au naturel moisturizer of a cake you smeared all over me. and yes, i will keep telling myself that i wasn't the fool and that i saw it coming and i was nice to stay there. hehe.











"if he's right, he is." i'll keep that in mind.









hearing aid: olivia newton john "have you never been mellow?


yes; and all with good reason : )









happy national day to everyone.

spent my national day eve in school doing "rachel's late" [my event's management event.], newton with the tmtc, and then daeming's place where we had this saucy threesome (2girls1sadboy). *grin* this sad boy had two girls on his bed, and was disappointed that he didn't even get any action! heh. no one cares for yoooou! haha..

anyway, gotham was interesting. it was an unexpectedly young crowd, where i met the expected and the really unexpected. podium was more like a stage for everyone to cram themselves on, but rah and i finally got to the front and danced the night away.

the music skrewed up, and the speakers blew at about 1am. so for like half an hour the club emptied itself. (someone was saying that there was going to be raid, which there wasn't in the end. but the policemen did come by to grab some girls off for not being of age.. tsk.)

there was this mitch (not enough to be a witch, and not enough to be a bitch), who hogged the front of the stage BY HERSELF. even her dance partner didn't want to dance there, and ran off to join her boy somewhere in the back. she refused to left rah and myself to dance, pushing us and trying to take whatever space she required, so rah and i gave up when the songs turned bad. at the bar, rah and i had this really good show of the podium where this hot chick was blowing the short-hogger-of-a-girl off. kudos. so eventually rah and i decided to help the hot chick out, we got on the podium, and moved ourselves up to the front and i tapped hot chick's shoulder telling her, "we'll help you get her off." she looked back and said, "i'm the organiser, i can kick her out." oh hoooray! : ) eventually, the short hogger left leaving the front to rah and me. oooohwee. rocks!

today was one of the best, or perhaps the best time i've had dancing. music wasn't too bad, had better elsewhere. it was mild yet exciting, slow yet pumped up, wild and sultry. oohahhhh. : ) a good night in all minus away the bad nuts, bangers, grinders, and the lousy pushers, and of course the hoggers.

i'm tired, my feet are aching. and i feel like i've done my exercise for the week. *grin* oh and did i forget to mention that i love being single? : ) dance with anyone, any way i want. and i get to be asked out, and i have the option of saying 'sure!' i love being single!! have i said that yet?









i think i'm going gotham tonight. after tmtc dinner at newton. yaay.

natania castelle's in the house. i'm not sure how i'm going to get up tomorrow for my project meeting at 10am, but i'm sure am gonna party wild tonight. : ) keep the drinks away from me tho.

i want to say my thanks to ren for thursday last week at cocolatte. the place stank, so blaaah. the drinks were worse, that was NOT vodka cranberry at all. it was just vodka with a lil dash of pink colour in it la! now you know what val's really like when she's wasted; dead like a log. *grin* hehe. let's just keep it downlow, details not needed like how bad i looked and how bad my puke stank in the potted plants outside of the club. heh. so thanks ren for watching over me, you're the best!









on sunday night, it was the first time i had dinner/meal out with my mum since godknowswhen (i'm thinking april.) oh yay. i'm so thrilled. not. truthfully speakin', nothing's like before. everything's changing and i don't feel the same and it blows everything out of the waters.

i'm not in the best of moods now. *pshaw, it'll pass.


since it's all about the firsts. i'm in the mood to just answer any questions regarding "firsts" on my tag. but if no one asks, oh well. : ) i'll just return to my humble abode and live til i'm 80 with my 27 cats.

cats. that's reminds me, there's two new kittens on the block. twins! both have the fur colour of a persian [read: grey/white], gorgeous! one's really goodlooking [as in goooodlooking. : )], another has this huge black spot right on the centre of its face (like a mole!) hahaha. ok i shouldn't be laughing, look who's talking about moles. heh. i was thinking of naming the moley one "guacamole" because it has a 'mole' and guacamole's green (my favourite.), but i don't like to eat guacamole and can you imagine calling guacamole at the decks?! can you say, 'utterly embarrassing'? not only for me, think about the cat?! "guacamole!! guacamole?" i think the cat would never live it down with the neighbourhood streets. haha.

perked myself up enough now.









i wake on saturday morn to feel sluggish and lethargic, and in the mood of cancelling my plans for the very night; party at newsroom bar.
but of course, my dearest darlin' bestfriend of a sister, rah persuades me, very well indeed, that i ought to get my butt out of my house to not feel like that, which is, more often than not, true.

so i leave the house at half hour to midnight, to see rah and her love and her love's two boys sitting at the steps outside. and surprise surprise, i have no ids, as usual because i don't need 'em (got friends in the right places you see.. hehe.) but this time i'll need one. anyway, skip the boring bits. got in. danced with rah, lotsa pushing about on that small podium by the guys of cj. (yes, it was a cj party apparently.)

skipskipskip. (insert juicy bits here.) heh.

this guy whom i thought was a junior (note: i'm already underaged, and if he's a junior, he's way more underaged than i am!) from my secondary school. so i ask him, "are you a fairsian?" he couldn't hear a word i said, and returned my question with a quizzical look. i repeat my question, then he goes, "no. are you?" we talk here and there whilst dancing, and his friend obviously wants to talk to a girl. (sad man. haha.)

ok, apparently, 'junior man' isn't exactly junior. he's actually 20. haha. and he knows jules. will tell that another time. anyway, sarah leans over and asks if i'm interested, i tell her no. so she schemed her devious plan. "do you want to prank him?" "of course!" is my reply! : ) "act like ming (rah's boyfriend) is your boyfriend!" hurhurhur. this is going to be good.
so we chat a lil more while dancing, and ming moves on over from the boys, and next to me. and then we start dancing, a bit more touchy-feely than friends dancing. it was hilarious! you ought to have seen 'junior man's face! i tell you.. so he thought, "ok, if i can't get this one, i'll talk to the other." (and he starts talking to rah.) hahahahhahaa. guys are soooo sad.

(juicy bit 1 over.)
(insert juicy bit 2 here)

upon returning to the dance floor after a much needed break, a guy, name him red, meets me halfway; blocking my way, and we end up dancing. he's a fun guy to dance wit', a lil touchy but still fun. we talk a lil, normal chats "where's your friends?" sorta conversation.
then the dance just becomes urking. he tries to touchtouch, i obviously move away. (note: girls, when guys do things like that, just dance with your arms up in front of yourself.. heh. i'll teach you next time.) then he tries to hold; strike number 2! then..hohoho! he tries to kiss me! that's a foul!- red card! - penalty! - whateveryouwishtocallit! and so, i'm in dire need of saving at that point in time, and my heroine rah was nowhere in sight. so i call the shots to leave him on the floor saying i've gotta look for my girlfriend. hur.

so i find rah a few steps away on the podium, and then i tell her and the boys my predicament. suddenly, red joins us! *horror. rah huggs me tight, in her effort to hide me inside her. hahaa. (i love her to bits!!) : ) anyway, the boys hide me good, dancing wit' the boys gave red the signal and so he moved onto his next victim.

(juicy bit 2 over.)
(insert juicy bit 3)

i think rah and ming's in the mood to matchmake again. mr. man who saved me from red is nice la, i admit, but i'm not interested; he's nice to hug, as a friend. like i told les, there's this one criteria the guy has to meet, and i haven't met one yet. underline yet.

(juicy bit 3 over.)
(insert juicy bit 4)

i meet jp as i am leaving to find out that nellie and his love was at newsroom. i guess i was lucky not to have seen 'em. lucky bothways. : )

(juicy bit 4 over.)


the joys of having my girlfriend for my dance partner: we rock the floor good. *you can hear the guys slurping their saliva. : ) here's to 11 years of friendship, i love rah to bits.









the wonders of the triple W.: my search for the buterfly effect.

note: it is easy to read for all those who are not interested in the physically draining task of understanding the complex and profound language chosen by the authors of other reads. click here for the full read.

and here's the gist of the read if you're too bummed out.

chaos theory states that there is a lack of order in a system; there improbability and the unpredictability in everything. the chaos theory is synonmous (read: similar) to a condition, dynamic instability, discovered by Henri Poincare in the early 20th century. the condition is the inherent lack of predictability in some physical system. the butterfly effect is a physical example of the chaos theory.

the two main components of the chaos theory is the idea that systems - no matter how complex they may be - rely on an underlying order and that the very simple or small system and event can cause very complex behaviours or events.

the chaos theory questions physicians' belief in the laws of newton, which are completely based on "determineds": assuming - theoretically, that precise measures about the behaviour of any physical system are possible, resulting in the precise predictions could be made of the past and/or future.

the question of whether the butterfly flapping its wings in brazil could lead to a tornado in texas was brought up by Lorenz (dec, 1972) after quoting an unnamed meteorologist who said that "if the chaos theory were true, then a single flap of a single seagull's wings would enough to change the course of all future weather systems on earth."

the example of such a small system, a butterfly, being responsible for creating such a large and distant system, a tornado in Texas, illustrates the impossibility of making predictions for complex systems. despite the fact that these are determined by underlying conditions, precisely what those conditions are can never be sufficiently articulated to allow long-range predictions.

Lorenz, a meteorologist, was running computerized equations to theoretically model and predict weather conditions. Having run a particular sequence, he decided to replicate it. Lorenz reentered the number from his printout, taken half-way through the sequence, and left it to run. What he found upon his return was, contrary to his expectations, these results were radically different from his first outcomes. Lorenz had, in fact, entered not precisely the same number, .506127, but the rounded figure of .506. According to all scientific expectations at that time, the resulting sequence should have differed only very slightly from the original trial, because measurement to three decimal places was considered to be fairly precise. Because the two figures were considered to be almost the same, the results should have likewise been similar. Since repeated experimentation proved otherwise, Lorenz concluded that the slightest difference in initial conditions - beyond human ability to measure - made prediction of past or future outcomes impossible, an idea that violated the basic conventions of physics.

Poincare proved mathematically that even if the initial measurements could be made a million times more precise, the uncertainty of prediction for outcomes did not shrink along with the inaccuracy of measurement, but remained huge. Unless initial measurements could be absolutely defined - an impossibility - predictability for complex - chaotic - systems performed scarcely better than if the predictions had been randomly selected from possible outcomes.












hearing aid: ece idol contestants (hehe.)
the girl who won sang robbie williams/ jessica simpson's "angels" and she did a rather good job i would say : ) zif came in a close second. to think what 4 votes could've done to change his weekend; making him $300 richer. something so small yet so big. makes me wonder about the butterfly theory which states that a butterfly flapping its wings in africa could lead to a tornado/twister in the states. how cool is that. i think i'll do more research on that.

something weird started to happen to her. her heart started to pound, she felt dizzy, and, for a moment, she was certain she was going to faint. she closed her eyes and felt the blackness wash over her. she tried to concentrated on her breathing, on slowing down her racing heart, but she kept hearing her friend's words inside her head. Love is overrated. Love is not enough. and then, suddenly, her heart skipped a beat: maybe this isn't love. maybe that's the problem. maybe it started out as love, but somewhere, somehow, something happened to it, and it became something else.
i want big love. she opened her eyes and looked over to him. and i am not going to find it here. she saw it with shimmering clarity.
the only thing that mattered was that this wasn't love. it wasn't the big love. and she realized that she could spend the rest of her life trying to hold onto him. she could do her best to cement herself in place. she could work hard to convince herself that she couldn't live without him. but she suddenly saw that she had another option. she could just let go. and, just like that, she could feel something shifting inside her, something that had been a certain way as long as she could remember.

he asked if i wanted to get a cup of coffee. i said yes. we each bought our books, and then we went around the corner to a tiny cafe. we sat for a long time, talking.
by the time we left, it was dark outside. he grabbed my hand as we crossed the street against the light, and when we got to the other side, he didn't let go.
it was a clear night, and the moon was full and bright and low in the sky. i didn't know where we were going, but it didn't matter, because the cherry blossoms were finally out, and the air smelled of the last fire in somebody's fireplace. i just wanted to stare at the moon. i just wanted to lift my face to that moon, unshamed, like a sunflower to the sun.

like those fanciful dreams that aren't fancy at all. but, true, they are dreams.









i have been presented with an opportunity.

an opportunity to return to the dance floor.

there's a com in december, that's before my birthday, note. so i'll still have my hair! *grin* haha. anyway, my elder bro, names ryan has offered to let me join the ntu dancesport team, taught by shawn (of the s&g)? yeahh. and he's willing to look for a partner for me, and apparently there's this guy, who's readily available and IS good. heh. now what's the catch? he's amy's ex partner. oh ho ho ho.

pracs are tues and fridays. i think i'll pop by. i'm stirring with glee : ) the thrll of getting back on my feet, absolutely.

and that reminds me, if i do do the dec com - hehe. i'll only get to compete with npds in the tertiary level. and then we shall see.. bring it. : ) ok, i'm being awfully hopeful now, so don't burst my happy bubble; it doesn't come very often.


ok, the lil scandal i was suppose to brew today at sp didn't happen.

the ex girl didn't go for training. but i did get something out of it, a story. rather interesting. will tell more in time. ok it's been declared, i spend every waking minute i have thinkin' about my assignments, even when i'm out clubbin'. it's a good trait i believe, but it does hinder the soul to live a lil sometimes. but only sometimes : )


hoppin' into bed. praying so hard that i do well for radio later.

*dear lord,
it's been a while. and i've honestly missed you. so bring me back to you because it is beside you i want to stand.
amen.









i simply love this feeling. the feeling of being productive, to have something to do; to want to get something done. when everyone is stressed. ok, this just sounds wrong. : )

i admit i'm not going to have much of a life from now til first sem is over, but i'm gonna enjoy every minute of it even when i don't. heh.

the future killers:

• commis exam *i don't know when
• pr media kit
• pr final project; application of all pr skills we have learnt *meets-ups: 4th [10am]
• pr exam *i don't know when
• newswriting newspaper publication *meet-ups: 9th [10am orchard mrt] / 11th [11am] / 19th: news due to sub eds (beni&yours truly) / 23rd: sub eds to ren
• radio dalet test (it's tomorrow, and i'm quite skrewed. last prac i forgot my script and my filler music! shoot me if i do that tomorrow, and if i do do something as jacked as that. oh well, it's been nice knowing you.)
• radio final talkshow test
• web design online publication *meet-ups: online tonight 10.30pm / 24th [1pm] / 25th [11am]

oh yeahh. bring it.


the happenings:

• rouge: fuxion, tomorrow's thurs. tix at $15 - one free drink
• indochine, saturday. tix ($?)
• newsroom bar: blase, saturday 6 august, tix at $18 at door - one free drink
• flea market/ bazaar madness!!
• ece idol, friday. tix at $5. go razif go! : )
• mega monopoly madness at suntec city's atrium this weekend!

there's lots more, but just can't function right now.

time to jump back into the mode









a friend of mine did this, and so i'm just doing to for the kicks before i hop into bed.

1. Your Horoscope?
- Sagittarius
2. Single/attach?
- oh, absolutely single! : )
3. Clubber/Non-Clubber?
- kinda in between. still underaged you see, but i cannot tell a lie, i have clubbed before : ) and i enjoy it! haha.
4. Money or Love?
- tough. riiight. honestly, i feel like i'm not in need of either although i lack in both departments
5. Love kids? If yes how many do u want?
- i would like to have kids, eventually. 4 please. 2 boys, 2 girls.
6. Place the following in order of importance to u (1.being the most important): Money, Career, Family,Friends, Love.
- 1. Family, 2. Friends 3. Career 4. Love 5. Money
7. Given a choice would u rather be poor and happy OR rich and unhappy?
- I can't imagine being happy with either, not a fan of people with $$$. So i rather be rich and unhappy.
8. What do u think is the cause of most break-ups?
- The inability to compromise.
9. Do u believe in horoscopes?
- I believe that people are whoever they want to be, but love being in the stars and fate and whatnots? Not my thing. I create opportunities, if it's fate, well.. lucky me. : )
10. Believe in love in 1st sight?
- erm. tough one too. I would like to believe that there is such a thing as love at first sight.
11. Use your head or your heart more?
- Head. Without a doubt. which explains alot.
12. Is sex a MUST in a relationship?
- nope. i'm the conventional sort; sex after marriage, sue me. but this is a debatable issue between my friends. i think we ought to start a bet to see how long i can last. haha. : )
13. Which is worse? Possessive or Hot tempered?
- i wouldn't get with either. but i think i could probably handle a hot temper more than a possessive person.
14. Which is more important? Character or Looks?
- character without a doubt. i think my friends would realise that by now. they argue that my choice in guys' looks are just *bleah*. haha. i think i have fantastic taste, btw! : )
15. Nice and Romantic or Rich and Pampering?
- don't like either. i'm not a romantic person, at all. (vouched by t.) i don't like $$$ everywhere, and although i like to be pampered, i like to think that i could do it to myself without someone paying for it. and nice? oh well. nice is nice. i like nice. *grin*
16. 1 word to describe life?
- living
17. 1 word to describe love?
- ________ my mind's a blank. will fill in, in time.
18. Ever expect your partner to change for u?
- change? to what extent? if to improve his table manners, or respect for people in general, i would like to think so. manners are of utmost importance. i sound like a grandma. *horror.
19. One thing u wish you could have right now?
- more sleep for starters. functioning on how much sleep mass commers get is insufficient. hear us roar!


some guy just called me for a favour. and being the ohsohelpful me, i am going to help him! : )
heads up people, if you see me tomorrow with some guy at sp - i'm acting as his 'support' to get back at his girlfriend who cheated on him. no this is not an ongoing scandal, it's a fun project. will update you when i get back tomorrow. i know you want the details! *grin*









this is me now, just before i jump back in the mode.

the world is not only all about paper qualification, honestly.
argh is exactly how i feel when people don't realise that it isn't only the paper that counts. don't people count the drive, the spirit, the determination? i'm sure you can see it in their eyes. it is not fair. it is not fair.

someone told me, 'it's nice to have one to fall back on tho.' here-here. it's nice, but not everyone has it. it is up to you to open your eyes; not everyone has the opportunity to finish schooling, or travel to see the world, or become the doctors they wished they could be. some end up sweeping floors, unemployed and broke and broken. people make choices. to declare themselves bankrupt, others choose to sweep floors to pay back their debt. who's the winner, who's the stronger? choose.

people make choices, where they want to go, what they want to do. sometimes these people need a lil' push, a lil voice saying 'i believe in you' before they have the energy to push on. we all have those times, and we all need those friends who'll say, 'i believe in you'. why is it you look down on those who are lost, when you were lost once i'm sure. it is people like these i rather stand by - they have what it takes; to know what is loss and still stand to face a new day. it is them i want to be with. it is them i want to know. it is them i want to be like.

ok. done yumchaing.

why the bf? because there is more to people.




*sigh. : ) enjoying the moment, whilst i breathe the air of freedom.

so long, farewell. til i wake up from this slumber.









i am done. feminism has never been such a chore.

after days of reading through umpteen research materials, and scouring the freezing levels of the national library (which i have to say is a great place!), and typing over 40 pages of information (which i did not use), and standing in line for over an hour to photocopy my book(s), and staying up til 3 every day typing this report, and furrowing my brows one too many times (think i'm getting wrinkles here!), and squinting to read without my specs, and my butt going sore for sitting too long, and my legs going numb,





i can once again scream it at the top of my lungs from whichever mountain that singapore does not have (singapore's highest point isn't a mountain, it's a hill. ha! random topic chosen. *grin* ), commis's feminism and gender stereotypes is OVER.

*jumps and klicks her heels.

i think i need to go back to school to learn how to spell. i honestly typed klick, read the K. *horror! hehe. : )









hearing aid: patty smyth "look what love has done"

i woke up this morning, feeling lonely
there's so much my heart, just does not understand
there were times nothing really mattered
now i find i care too much
there's life in everything i touch
look at what has done to me
i'm not who i used to be
everything is changing
and i will never be the same

i think it's time to pay back for what they've given.


with every heart
leaves a beat
neverending

with every smile
leaves a crease
unforgettable

with every kiss
leaves a mark
unchangeable

with every you
leaves a me
unsteady, unsure











it's one of those times when i look at on how my life has been; reflection periods are good for one's health. evaluation should come every day in fact, just to keep yourself in check.

here's the score (updated 1st August 2005)
1 true giraffe, 6 months
2 urking chestnuts (3 hours) and androids (2 hours) *regurgitating now. erk.
1 lost dream, blenheim. heaven called him away, til 4 am i remember clearly : ) (drop me a message someday and when you do, do tell me what heaven's like. *grin*)
1 fulfilled dream, nelly (mistress alert!!)
1 best friend, 1 special anniversary date
1 car ride through the heart, 2 days long: fai
3 utterly ____ ideas, 2+ months and 3 weeks each.
total no. of _____ = 10 (keep guessing.)

no. of broken hearts = 3
no. of times i broke my own heart = half of one. haha. maybe make that 3/4 of one. : )
no. of scandals = 2
no. of dates (that i remember) = 5

this blog was relevant to a ms. valerie anne from when she was studying mass communications in a singapore polytechnic.

she was aged 16 on her first post, and 18 on her last.

she is currently a freelance emcee-er/hostess.
contact her at
valerieanne @ cheerful.com

some might call me the ultimate sagittarian; free-spirited and whatnot, but i don't believe in horoscopes.

"everything gets complicated when you think. i don't discourage thinking, it's over thinking that i'm worried about." - val


none existent.


i've moved on.

shop alot?


. make Valerie Anne are big name
. publish a book entitled "you better quote val, or else" - recommended by derek goh
. open a clip-on earrings shop
. open a cafe
. learn/speak spanish
. skydive over mauritius waters
. bungee jump from a suspension bridge
. get back into my dancing shoes
. set a world record for the longest time on a roller coaster ride
. save an endangered species
. AND prove to my mum that i'll be married before 35. HAHA.


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