when we parted ways to take the roads high for us both
the hollowness in me echoed for miles and miles, there was nothing in sight
a mirage from the heat left me dehydrated; episodes of the hallucinating mind
still, thoughts of you kept me alive; i couldn't take my mind off you

for every knock in me, reverberated a loud sounding hole
reminding me of what it could've been
soon i grew used, accepting the truth that stood before me
believing nothing could fill

i was and am wrong, for i have friends who cared more
lovers who loved more, people who lived more
everyday i lived, cared, loved
took me away from the free space that filled

living with this space
is who i am, making me
and who i will always be









i had a real nice long chat with marcus over the phone yesterday, and so he pretty much got the most of the valerie in one session. haha. this is because he actually sat through one full explanation of what happened to the president and myself, and most of my friends only have time to listen to bits and pieces as they come - and people do tend to forget information that isn't important to them.

anyway, stang asked me out/in for dinner. why not right? it's not a date, and it would be great to know him.

when there is something that attracts me, i can never put my finger on it. when another has an attractive personality, i know. what attracts, when they're total opposites?

two like poles repel,
two opposite poles attract
so now we know.
but how can one be pulled in both directions?
answer? that is when there is a conflict -
in the heart and mind.









'member yoda the compulsive liar from dxo? well, he actually thinks we could have something going. ok, sometimes some people have skulls so thick they don't think first, then again, there are some people whose skulls are too thick they don't even think. yoda wanted me to f'ckin stay over at his place last night - like right, as if i'll do that. geeeez.

you've gotta lead 'em one way
to leave 'em there to realise
you're not headin' that way
then receive a call for you to say
'oops. i'm not there. sorry.'

liar liar pants on fire
yellow flames will engulf you whole
just before the devil takes away your soul









just finished another read entitled down with love. yes, there is a movie also called down with love and yes it does star ewan mcgregor and renee zellweger, and yes, it is the book which was based from the motion picture down with love.
thinking about it now, 'down with love' reading it or watching it - is good. period. a hearty read, the characters amuse with their antics and anecdotes. screenplay by eve ahlert and dennis drake, try reading the book. it is wildly entertaining.

and for you, here's a sneak peak into the book written by barbara novak: down with love

down with love principle #1: women will never be happy until they are self-fulfilled
down with love principle #2: women will never be self-fulfilled until they attain equality and become independent as individuals by achieving equal participation in the workforce.
down with love principle #3: women should abstain from love, but not sex. you may give a man your body. but not your heart.

how to get the level 3 of the sex a la carte, from abstaining from sex and indulging in chocolate? here's how.
in week 1,

1. abstain from all men. no exceptions, eliminate all men from your life. this inclues the milkman, the mailman, your mechanic, uncle louie, cousin george and even baby butch. i don't care if they're eight months old or eighty years old; they are all part of the conspiracy.
2. turn down all dates. you are not to go out with any man for any reason, especially ones which could include a romantic situation. no breakfast, lunch, dinner, coffee, neighborhood block parties, all check-ups with your male gynaecologist, or cochairing of a cub scout fund-raiser.
3. if you are in love with a man, break up with him - immediately. if you are married, lock him out of the bedroom and make him sleep on the couch. no matter how much he begs or threatens, don't give in. once you have achieved maximum down with love control in level three, you may be able to resume a relationship with this person.
4. abstain from all sex. of ANY kind. this includes coitus, oral sex, full-body massages, heavy petting, hugging, kissing, slow-dancing, and footsies. a sex fast will help eliminate the feeling that the pleasures experienced during the sex act are related to love.
5. boycott all soap operas. if you must watch tv, hold out for the evening news or a good nature programme on animal mating habits. (note: how the word love never comes up.)
6. throw out all your romance novels. better yet, burn them!
7. buy a good sex manual and read it completely. don't be squeamish, remember no athelete goes to the olympics without doing his homework on the sport.
8. do not say, think, or write the word love anywhere - not even on a greeting card to your mother. unless it's to say DOWN WITH LOVE.

haHA! so there. i'm not saying i'm a down with love girl, but i'm also not saying that i don't support the down with love system. hmm. go figure. anyway, it's a good read for a laugh or two but i don't intend to own the book tho. imagine if a guy sees the book in my home library!









rah and i went out today. it's her first day at work, and yeahh, no surprise, she's working with jo at marina. well, i did say i'll patronize her workplace someday.

so we're out, heading to F21 via the orchard mrt from tangs. (shutup rah.) and this guy drops his pen at the entrance of wisma. i pick it up, and pass it back to him. the point of this story is the look he gave me when i returned him his pen. he was in shock, and awe, was leering, oogling, and possibly drooling, imagining me banging him (so says rah) sort of face! hahaha. yes, all in one face. we did have a good laugh for like one full minute before F21 took over. honestly, i have no idea who that person was and i'm pretty sure i don't intend to meet him again - he weirds me out.

he had the expression which said, "oh my god. she picked up my pen." (like horrors of horrors, with a twist of love.)

some would say, we had a moment. hahahhaahahhaah.









tuesday night: rah, joe and the MT boys and myself went to dxo attabout midnight. it was bad for like the first hour, cos no one was on the dance floor - AND, the place was empty. empty!! what's worse than a club playing bad music, is when the club is empty when they're playing good music! anyway, was on the floor with rah and spotted two guys whom i thought were pretty goodlooking. so i pointed rah in the direction and she concured. thought about going over to ask 'em to dance - hur. but fortunately, they came over to the dance floor! ha! rah and i danced to a few songs before i decided on askin' 'em over to join us on the podium, and they did! : ) hahaha.
i wanted a bottle of water, so he was nice enough to walk me out to the closest 7-11 (BUT. we got lost, and couldn't find the 7-11!! haha.) so we walked back, and he said he'll drive me over to 7-11 (gosh! he drives?!) when he drove us back to dxo, the party was over. you ought to have seen the faces of my friends when he drove up just outside the club, and i got out! hahaha. anyway, yoda seemed pretty aiight - besides the fact he'd lied about pretty much everything except his name!

nellie was there too. hur. introduced rah to 'im, and the first thing she said was "yeahh, i'm the one who stands outside your window every night!" hahaha. inside joke.

ouch. all you do is hurt me,
making me, folding me
crushing me in you
vice versa, it does not work that way
so leave me, don't turn around









i am home from a night that proved quite amazing. at first i thought it was going to be some stuck up group of preppies who imagined they ruled the world, but of course i was wrong - because honestly people like those do not exist. period.
so this really funny, crazy, happy, wild group of friends (whom i know through so many acquaintences and mutual friends) were the bunch i spent over 9 hours with. (8pm to 5+am) can you imagine how long that is? it's like a full school day!! ohhmaan.
starting out at stang's place, then moving over to shangri-la, then to marriots' bar none. and back to stang's. i'm so tired. i danced so much, my legs are aching. i had two shots of tequila, a virgin marg, a bottle of water and a sprite all night, and the last meal i ate was at 5pm that day! gee.
i'm bushed. stang's a pretty good dancer, am considering two prospects. i ought to pitch the idea to him sometime. sometime. donn's uber funny. reminds me of a certain kweng. oh well. i shall not spend myself reminiscing about past lives, my tired achy body needs to shut down - especially if i intend to actually get up for church.

i found the kitchen boy.









my virgin highlighting experience has been taken by izoc : )

my hair is still the same colour just with streaks of golden brown - actually it's so subtle you prolly won't even see it the first time around! can't believe that i'm gonna chop my hair, after not cutting it for 11 months! gee. my previous cut was this boy short do; might i add that most people didn't like it - BUT a bob would still mean i have a girly edge. just more chic! weee.

hooha, got a bbq to attend tonight all the way at frickin' bishan. damn, bishan is really the other end of the world from me! oh yay.

benji's been attacking the kittens (horrible cat). don't really know why, but when he does, you can hear the kittens squeal. haha. it's kinda funny now. anyhoo, if you're interested in taking the kittens (i've got 3, they're 2 months old), holler.

criteria:
1. you must like cats
2. you don't like cuddling; cats cannot be bothered with you
3. it's a pet, do not throw it away. (or i will come after you.)

my damn laptop's audio system! argh. (oh. it crashed several months back, don't ask me why.) so my laptop has no purpose other than storing information. thinking of swapping over to mac, but i'm a mac idiot. haha. : ) we shall see.









today was my digital cable tv marathon. it was channel after channel, movie after movie, show after show. it started at about 11 in the morning, ending well, at midnight. making my record at 13 hours in front of the tube. (i've clocked more hours before. ((:) ok, what's my secret to actually enduring those hours? i don't know, prolly my add (attention deficeit disorder: for those who lack the vocabulary, it just means i have a short attention span.), which leads me to my ability to watch something for eons - the tube keeps me entertained easily. : )

anyhoo, this is prolly my last time i'll be catching hbo in a while cos we didn't sign up for the program, so we had this temporary access to all channels (yay!). so the movie channels (read: hbo, starmovies, cinemax) were the hit of the hours.

"you either hate me, or you're the only one who gets me." - erica, something's gotta give
oh and take note, keanu reeves is hothotHOT in this one. and absolutely perfect here too. "would you have dinner with me tonight?" *sizzle*, just imagining that smile. ooohhhh.

ok, gotta get my butt out of my house early; got an audition all the way at chinatown at 11am. gee. it's all about the experience and cash, and building my portfolio. know a corp ad job, let me know. appreciate it! : )

and yeahh, getting the hair coloured and highlighted tomorrow night.

anyway, some AC party at wisma's indo, friends are trying to get me to go. still thinking about it, kinda wary since a certain black cloud showered last week. anyway, tix this friday's at 18 presale, 22 at door. some say it gonna be one wicked party.

gotta get back on my feet, and call my boss. oh and if you're wondering about that call i was SUPPOSED to make (for that appointment), i didn't make it. i buckled. ha.











just caught the last episode of the final season of ALIAS - and woooowee! quite the finale! the whole cast was brought together for the showdown. with all the prophecies fulfilled (including the one with the white horse and angels falling), this episode includes the biggest twist of the century revealed! now don't you want to catch it? (:

"i've got something to tell you, so there are no secrets between us," says vaughn.
"sure, as long as you don't tell me you're a bad guy," jokes sidney.
"well that depends on how you look at it." vaughn treads on thin ice here.
"michael?"
"my name is not michael vaughn." followed with a car ramming itself into sidney and vaughn's car. THE END. haHA! brilliant eh?

think you want to tell all your secrets? think again.









yesterday was tim burton's corpse bride with russ, then we sat in the library (*note: russ does not go to the library, and i got 'im there! *curtsies) and boggled our minds over an IQ book. it was sideachingly fun, considering how stupid it makes you feel when you find out the actual answers. ha! BUT just for your info, i'm pleased to say my IQ is above average. HA! so there.

anyhoo, corpse bride is one to catch, but i only recommend it for people who actually enjoy laughs that are NOT slapstick. (i hate slapstick. underline hate, bold it too. hellloo, it's not funny. 'splain to me why it's funny.) oh and don't catch it where we did, because the audio system SUCKED. the whole movie was pitching here and there, not to mention you pretty much can't hear the lyrics not to mention the melody - i don't think i'm allowed to say the company name (slapped with libel and slander of sorts. urgh.) but if you want to know, ask me.
sometimes throughout the movie i could catch myself wondering how tedious it was to do stop animation, and frame by frame shots. urgh. kudos to tim burton for another fantastic movie (to be added to charlie&the chocolate factory, edward scissorhands, the nightmare before christmas) the next movie to catch would be into the blue.

i'm in the midst of my hols (yes, a gentle reminder for those people, school is starting again on the 31st of october. don't ask me why it's starting then, because the next 2 days are official holidays, it's the school's terms. think positively! that just means fewer days of school! ((:), and i have yet to fulfil some requests made. butbutbut, i do intend to make 'em, really.

so that means i've gotta make a call. ohmaaan, do i really have to? *shuffles feet as she walks away*









i thought it was time to pull out some of my old works, essays and such. so, i found my webd book, which i might add got a damn B+ because i didn't reflect. what-the-heck right? anyhoo, i realised that it did bring back loads of memories: the whole process of making it and reading it again makes me think about what was important to me back then. actually, my initial inspiration to start on the book was a certain mr. president, and a cup of coffee from starbucks. (mr. president, don't ask about the coffee, i made the entry up, plus i don't drink coffee. or tea for that matter. ((:) then the book continues.. interested to check it out?, just holler.

eew. my roomie just ken-toohed. *scrunches nose* haha. random. know who's my roomie?

anyway, here's some entries from my book. thought i'll fill it up 'ere.

i drew a picture of an old swing that sits by a green plain, and two people just over the hill. maybe i'll attached it, if only my scanner actually works. if only..
"the period of summerloves and summmerflings.
there is no difference, they still only survive the summer."

some cover of a juice mag got me thinking and i had to ask: "does everything come in pairs? like socks?"









40-year-old virgin is a riot. spent the sunday afternoon and night with dee, and it was needed to catch up. it surprises me how little we talk and yet it still works for our friendship : )
lunching was quite the something. somehow, i kinda think he doesn't hold out much but holds out on the important stuff. like some guy in my yg said today,
"sometimes it's not how urgent the matter is, it is how important it is."
so val, do things that are important.
like andy the 40-year-old virgin would say, "i couldn't understand why i couldn't last time, but now i know. i was waiting for you." and so i wait, and wait, for you. because it is important to me. : )









guess there ain't much to do nowadays. hols are really a bore considering most people have something to do, like jobs, like their significant others and other commitments.

so i pretty much spent my afternoon (i woke up at 1pm.) sitting in front of the tube, absorbing mtv's redundant information, channel5's saturday afternoon movies, cartoon network/ disney channel and nickelodeon's crazy animaters' finished works, axn's action packed shows (which i might add give me a headache from looking), starworld's 1-hour series shows, and tons of channel flipping. don't you wonder how i watch so many channels in less than 3 hours? watch me, it's my fine skill : )











i guess today wasn't as lucky as i'd thought at the beginning with the whole internet connection working on my laptop. so yeahh, i did say i'll be at black tonight, and i was. if you count making it to the lifts and getting called out for my id. actually i was awfully lucky at the beginning of the night, cos i skipped on the id and got the stamp for re-entry. : ) weee! or maybe not. let me tell you why.

so after selling manymany tickets, rah and i intended to head up to the floor. it was just after midnight, so you can imagine the queue. anyhoo, rah got in through the re-entry section, and i was stopped again. "excuse me miss, we didn't get to check you id just now, do you have it with you?" i honestly didn't have it on me, so i told rah to go on up and get it for me from my bag. later, she comes down and passes me the id. (i shall keep her name out for privacy.) then we headed for the door, and lo-and-behold, there i was, caught. actually i made it through the girl at the door, but the guys didn't want to let me through.

conversation went something like this.

"hi, can i see your id?" i passed him the id.
"what's your name?" i try to recall her name. my memory's lapsing already. the lack of use can rendered my brain somewhat useless to me.
"ic number?" oh shit. my fingers were kinda numb and thinking was becoming a chore.
"date of birth?" brilliant. at least that i could remember. then i carried on to blabber about how it just passed recently. huge mistake. anyway.
"what is your unit number?" now this is a tough one, considering i didn't actually read the card, i was really guessing this one. "13-something, i really can't remember my address. i don't live there anymore, i just moved house a month ago." the actual unit number was 15. oops.
"blood type?" this is another one i had no clue about. but honestly, i also don't know my blood type now. wild guessed this one "O+". the bouncer showed me the card, and i knew i was in for the long one, the card read "A+". brilliant brilliant brilliant me.
so he pulls me aside, "do you know it's a felony to use someone else's identity?" "yeah." "and do you know that i could call the cops on you?" "yeah." a few more questions here and there, then a few name calling and name dropping. believe me, i was numb-numb, not from fear but from the actual fact that a lot of people could get into trouble for this stunt. my girlfriends who helped me for starters. damnit.
so then he gave me the option, to tell him my real details or call the cops on me. like the choice was duh and clear. then he wanted my id, but honest to god, i didn't have it on me. "i don't have it. it's upstairs." "so how?" "can i just write it for you?" "how would i know it's the truth?" and believe this, i said "can i promise you?" haha. yes, i said that - can i promise you? wild. he took it, and i wrote the truth obviously, and asked him if he needed my contact number just in case. hurhur. hey! i know what's good and what's not good to tell aiight : )
so i watched as people entered black, and stood outside at the lift lobby - how nice. the bouncer comes up to me, "i have the power to call the cops you know. so what do you think i should do?" my answer? "i apologise from the bottom of my heart, and i hope you accept it. i do acknowledge that you have the power to call the cops and i understand if you would, but i'm hoping that you won't, and let me off with a warning. but i'll accept any punishment you'll give me, and i'm hoping you won't punish the girls." his reply? "ok, i'll let you off, you're really lucky cause you weren't caught by the cops. if you were, you wouldn't have a warning, they'll just slap your wrists. you'll be banned for a year." he returned the id to the owner. and that's the story.

it's okay with me. a year would fly by quickly, it just would mean no black on my 18th bash. oh well. anyway, i had this bunch of uber good friends who left the floor to join me downstairs - and to say the least, i wasn't moping in sadness or screaming profanities about (what's there to curse at anyway?) so, not dancing was kinda fun.

but i would be back on the 8th of october 2006 to check out what black is really like.

thanks to ren, nneths, shaun "tommy don" and the tmtc, to issey, danny, shaun h., and all who kept me company for the hours that we were at macs chatting our lives away. i appreciate all that you've done for me, even if you were laughing at me, it still lightened my whole day.

and i guess, i really was lucky today.

time to switch on the music in my room, and dance my heart out.

and yeahh, i didn't get to dance the lights out of someone today. maybe i'm lucky in that way too? prolly, from what i heard about the horrors of the dance floor. heh. i am lucky, with friends like the ones i got, i am luckier than a four leaf clover, dozens of rabbits' feet, and hundred of horseshoes. : )









it's my lucky day, cos my laptop's decided to link up to the wireless! weeee. i'm hoping it'll stay this way! : ) tuned into the honey soundtrack, getting myself into grooving tonight and dance the lights out.


If you're sitting down
Time to get up
Sippin' on something
Drink it up, Hit the floor
And rock your body
Wil'out cuz its a party HEY!

I saw you for the first time
When you were walking onto the block
You had a fine throw-back, timberlands to match
And now I don't see you no-more
And I'm tryin to find out where you at
Cuz you would look so much better next to me
OHH-wait you sexy baby come back this way

[CHORUS x2]

And now I know I'm looking good and no need to frontin'
All eyes on me
I must be working somethin'
'Bout to hit the floor so tell me who want it
You looking at me so won't you come & get it?
Playa's what's crackin
I'm asking who's dancin' with me tonight?
UHH DJ don't stop playin my song!

[CHORUS x2]

I'm hot but I don't get sweat on my hair
It's still gettin atcha
Girls roll with me, but I can't find 'em
Gimme a second amp; let me locate 'em
Tell me watcha doin after we close
We're going where everyone goes
On the west is hot spot, and the east is the copshop, south the waffle house
Baby come dance with me!

[CHORUS x2]

Ooooooooooooooooooooooo whooooooo step step step step
Ooooooooooooooooooooooo whooooooo rock rock rock rock
Ooooooooooooooooooooooo whooooooo bounce bounce bounce bounce

Hit the floor and rock your body
Wil'out cuz it's a party HEY!

you into the groove wit' me? : )









sally mendel's over; a perfect ending. won't spoil it for you if you ever intend to pick it up for a read : ) just like Luanne Rice reviewed it: inspires one with love, laughter and courage. i'm all out for meeting someone to take me away

take me away
in that silver drawn carriage
to sit on the raft in the middle of a stil lake
with the moon high above us
and you playing bach's prelude in C major











hearing aid: damien rice
song: eskimo "and i looked to you my eskimo friend when i'm down..."

present read: sally mendel's heart and soul
raves: music never sounded so good in words, and love never so bluntly said - things i could never understand explained so simply to me. i cried.
i'm still half way through sally mendel. hear my raving when i'm done. intend to get it done by tonight, i just can't put it down!!

people sometimes aren't all that they're made out to be. that's an issue. deal with it. somehow the media doesn't appeal to me anymore. think doctorate; medicine; therapy; science, not media.

grades are in. gpa at 3, not too bad, at least it ups my average! : )
commiss: B
newswriting: C+
radio: B+
vebd: B+
pr: C+

note to self: dance the lights out of someone tonight.










strange dreams haunt my sleep
nightmares they are not
for reasons not to leave my lips
secrets kept between me and my shadow
about the one night i revisited

and so it is, just like you said it would be; can't take my eyes off you - until i find somebody new



















hearing aid: kelly rowland compilation "simply deep"

ok, it's settled, i've got a job. it seems awfully "surreal but nice" [hugh grant said this in notting hill ((:] tl was telling me about how the industry is so skrewed up, how immoral the system is and how the people have flung themselves into the pits to become bigger, more famous, more liked, more everything. he kept emphasising how skrewed up it really is, and warning me about how the media works. the hissing venomous python.

anyway, another thing he emphasised on was the naked bodies of the hottest men in the universe and the most beautiful stickthin ladies who make the industry rotate. like i said, "surreal but nice" - i can't believe where i am now. pinch me.


i'll keep that in mind while i sit in the hottest clubs and watch the rhythm-intoxicated take it away on the floor.

when is enough enough? never.









i just remembered this tarot card reading i got during my bangkok trip.

the issue, that i have at hand, was control. oooh right? well, it was really interesting how somethings can be so general and yet one can find a way to place it nicely into their lives - as if it happened really.

truth. yeahh i can find a place in time where control is an issue for me.

let me sum up what the tarot card reader said.

"you like control. when you don't have it, you're very lost. so you should get back control and all will be well." : ) well, i do believe this sounds rather familiar to some. aiights, now to run off to meet my new boss-to-be.

and yes, thanks to my tarot card reader - praa.









then i wonder
and ponder on the issues of life
that pertain to the importance of living
because living is all that is all it's supposed to be
death on the other hand
is an experience











after years of sqabbling over who gets what, the break up is finalised. the date is the 28th of september 2005. i'm suppose to feel better, soon.









i now know the name of the ohsogorgeouslydropdeadcharmsterofawinkandatightass from the movie called the wedding date. DERMON MULRONEY. let me explain again why i love this guy to bits. nick mercer, the character which dermon mulroney played, said: I'd rather fight with you than make love to any other woman. doesn't it all say it all?







oh shut up.









hearing aid: damien rice "o"

you know you've found it because you feel it when they take it away.

this blog was relevant to a ms. valerie anne from when she was studying mass communications in a singapore polytechnic.

she was aged 16 on her first post, and 18 on her last.

she is currently a freelance emcee-er/hostess.
contact her at
valerieanne @ cheerful.com

some might call me the ultimate sagittarian; free-spirited and whatnot, but i don't believe in horoscopes.

"everything gets complicated when you think. i don't discourage thinking, it's over thinking that i'm worried about." - val


none existent.


i've moved on.

shop alot?


. make Valerie Anne are big name
. publish a book entitled "you better quote val, or else" - recommended by derek goh
. open a clip-on earrings shop
. open a cafe
. learn/speak spanish
. skydive over mauritius waters
. bungee jump from a suspension bridge
. get back into my dancing shoes
. set a world record for the longest time on a roller coaster ride
. save an endangered species
. AND prove to my mum that i'll be married before 35. HAHA.


2005.01 2005.02 2005.03 2005.04 2005.05 2005.06 2005.07 2005.08 2005.09 2005.10 2005.11 2005.12 2006.01 2006.02 2006.03 2006.04 2006.05 2006.06 2006.07 2006.08 2006.09 2006.10