stop thinking because thoughts can't change things. do something.
that is exactly what i've done. and now all these thoughts are a jumble, a mix of knots that just could be, possibly, undone.
trust yourself.
ttfn, this is me. out.
don't ask me why i'm still single because i just am.
don't ask me to open my heart because it already is.
don't ask me to love someone else because i have.
single and fabulous. at least i know if i lose the latter, being single would rock on as it always has been! *grin* and if i do become attached, ohh well. like i told him, i wouldn't miss a thing because he must've been THAT great a catch : )
i'm weary with loving you. i'll see you under the catalpa.
she fell to her knees in the surf and let out such a cry that a donkey, behind a hill, called back to her.
ttfn, this is me. out.
just got back from the night out with the boys; from marina bay's steamboat to swensen's earthquake past midnight and a drive out to the powerhouse at tanglin, all the way to east coast to chill!! what a night, and i've got school at 10a.m. today! so wish me luck; i'm hopping into bed for hopefully 2 hours of shuteye : ) it's all good tho.
the last day, erm, night i had my freedom.
ttfn, this is me. out.
i wished i were lucky.
lucky in love.
what's luck anyway,
i make things happen if i want to.
am on one of those whims now. give me a few minutes, it'll pass. think i'll hop back into bed, it's too early to start mooching.
ttfn, this is me. out.
yesterday, i found myself talking to my*
friggin*self! it felt so weird, like several people in my head talking at the same time - arguing, in fact. geez. i now know what's it like for people with multiple personalities stuck in their head, and then they become they are medically termed a
schitzophrenic. i declare i am
not a schitzo aiights?! haha
so what was the hot topic? question was "
will you be alright?"
answer: "i think i am, and if i'm not, i will be" -
i will be.
no more sugar for me. i have been given fair warnings. so if i'm munching, make sure it ain't sugar. tell me apples are healthier : ) this is serious: no sugar for me.
so, valerie anne lim -
focus. 3ds. know what you want, and go get it. focus, damnit.
ttfn, this is stoptalkingtomyself me. out.
been a bad month, undeniable.
but maybe today was the first day of the slow pick up.
1 word: l'oreal
2 words: date tomorrow
3 words: wild wild wet
4 words: with a certain philip
: )
ttfn, this is a better me. out.
i'm not suposed to be scared of anything, but i don't know where i am
i wish that i could move but i'm exhausted and nobody understands (how i feel)
i'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs
there's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb
i try to hold this under control
they can't help me 'cause no one knows
now i'm going through changes
God, i feel so frustrated lately
when i get suffocated, save me
now i'm going through changes
i'm feeling weak and weary walking through this world alone
everything you say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone
i've got something to say, but now i've got no where to turn
it feel like i've been buried underneath all the weight of the world
i try to hold this under control
they can't help me 'cause no one knows
now i'm going through changes
God, i feel so frustrated lately
when i get suffocated, save me
now i'm going through changes
i'm blind and shakin', bound and breaking
i hope i make it through all these changes
- 3 doors down
"changes"
3 Doors Down - "Away from the Sun"
It's down to this I've got to make this life make sense
Can anyone do what I've done
I missed life
I missed the colours of the world
Can anyone go where I am
I'm over this I'm tired of living in the dark
Can anyone see me down here
The feeling's gone
There's nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I've known
And now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me
ttfn, this is shadowed me. out.
every move you make has an effect
every decision you take had a second choice
every heart you break takes a bit with you
every tear you cry touches the hand that holds you
every hug you give tells another a story
every laugh you make shatters the silence of another
"negativity does not cure shit."
- doctor val
when the world wasn't right, i tried to right it.
now that it is right side up, i wished it not.
i need a psychiatrist. quick.
i got off my bus from town at my stop today, like i always do. but today, it was different. i got off and sat down to think; and i didn't want to go home - dreading to face it all again. and fortunately for me, out of the blue.. my t. appeared next to me with arms wide open. ah yes, that hug that was i was in dire need of : ) muchos gracias my love.
and guess what, that rock with no personality got off at my stop too. haha, intended to change to 157 yes. no prizes for those who guessed that the rock was shocked to find me in the arms of another guy.. hehe : ) wished i had a camera just then.. haha.
anyway, the rock with no personlity ignored me today, how nice. really; i liked it! : ) *grin* i told him that i found it very enticing; making him look wanted. how to put it?: there was something to like now that he wasn't brooding over me anymore. be a man! hehe.
secrets are secrets, to be kept. and kept from people who tell.
i was on my way home on that bus, and reading
catalpa tree which i might add is
3 weeks overdue. damnit. if someone can find that book by denyse devlin, i would appreciate it. i want to keep it in my personal library for future readings.
queer enough, jude is to find a new love in the month of october.
what is this?! a hint? or someone above trying to spite me? gee. maybe it's just a coincidence. not a funny one at that..
fra*land hasn't called since. thank god : ) maybe it just may be working, a memory forgotten or placed somewhere isolated in the mind.
the tears will dry
even if there is no hand
to wipe them away
ttfn, this is teary-eyed me. out.
we all have friends
some who stand by us to hold our hands,
some who will give us hugs when we need 'em
but still run away when we need their help,
and some who just sit on the hills and watch
with popcorn in their hands, enjoying the drama unfold in our 'lil lives
secrets kept and secrets are told
secrets are kept from the people who tell
ttfn, this is me. out.
the day it happened, it felt so queer: it happened not to me. i'm not me.
The string that holds and dangles me
Snaps oh so suddenly
And I'm thrown into the place
Where my thoughts run wild
Imagination is set free and all
With the limitations of the human flesh
Reality bites
.
..
Someone take my hand
Hold me tight
Blow softly at my wounds
And kiss it to make it feel all better
I need a replacement
For the one I lost
..
.
filming has started. i'm not in the most positive of moods. oh hooray.
Slow and sluggish is how it feels like
Time doesn't tick anymore for me
I wait and see how life drains from each living thing
I watch the world from the top of a hill
And think back
I once asked that time return to the day when I heard my heart beat
But not for this
We never get what we want
And that is why life's unfair yet just
Because we learn to deal
So I deal with what I have
And now time just stops
I have all eternity to think about what I want
ttfn this is me. out.
times that hurt are not few and rare
times that ache the soul
that ache the heart
are not forgotten
pity. throw your memories into oblivion.
how unfortunate a soul
to be trapped in the box
with limitations
seeing no exit, no way out
scratching at the ends
nails bleeding, sore
blind and dried out
everything hurts
breathing thin, where is the air?
hooked on and held down
by chains invisible
to breakaway it seems impossible
screaming but no words escape the lips
cracked, dry, dehydrated
heavy soul, let go
help her. help me.
then i remembered:
when you're lost, reach up
his hands are there, outstretched
waiting for you to grab on
he will never forsake you
he carries you, he walks by you, he loves you
he will never forsake you
this has officially been the worst day of my life. without a doubt.
i guess i could kinda see it coming. and i've never been eaten away so much before. to have all my secrets out on the table for the most important person in my life to see - my mum.
blow no. 1: no one is allowed to my house anymore. not even you, t. sorry.
blow no. 2: my allowance has been cut - i need a job. now.
blow no. 3: now that it's out, my mum didn't flinch. i hate you for that. you're my mum, what kinda mum are you? to think.
blow no. 4: this will live with me. for life. someone erase me.
bite me. eat me.
don't just taste me
take me away
i'm hurting.
save me.
i have learnt to use a switch in my life. on and off. i can control it.
i am still living. i still have faith. i am val.
-
anyway, azli read me last night. said i have 3 routes in front of me, all asking me to take theirs.
1. ah beng
2. bad tempered man
3. someone: nerdish/slightly buff? (he said i've met him already. who?!)
he said i stand there, in front of these 3 routes, but i don't move forward; i'm walking back. hmm.. interesting. we shall see. step off, back away, move.
i'm still here.
ttfn, this is hurting me. out.
(time to switch)
did you hear about this? did you hear that? how now brown cow.
gossip is bad. for you. for those around you. for those involved.
so save everyone and shut your trap.
rah is one lucky girl. and i can't say i'm jealous. but i could only wish and pray and hope.
been advised to forget. to forget: to not remember, to put behind, to have out of the mind.
my memories are stored
far away
to be forgotten
and left behind
welcome back to reality, miss 44.
foc was the biggest blast of my whole year as a freshie. i couldn't be more proud of my freshies, of argives, and of argo4. we rocked the camp wild! : )
i'm ms 44, the 44th person shaun married and dumped to marry his 45th wife, mrs 45, serene. so many stories to tell, and so lil' time. all i am willing to tell at 0520am on mother's day is that camp was an unforgettable experience and i'm proud to say that joining as a gl has been one of my best decisions i have ever made.
say argo! *dynamite. say argo! *dynamite.
dynamite-dynamite-dynamite *
BOOM!*
argos have won the war, others can go sweep floor
argos have won the war, others can go sweep floor
argos have won the war, others can go sweep floor
go. go sweep!
*m'am yes m'am! *grin*
power clap!
*pOWerrr.
taogey clap!
*clap (squat)
*clap (whoosh)
*clap (look cool)
*clap (hands in the air!)
the argo spirit never dies. it lives. and kicks.
ttfn, this is me. ms 44 out.
sometimes i forget that i'm even me.
it's someone else doing all these things.
that isn't me. or is it?
oh i know i still bleed
so don't cut me
i detest pain
i will never look at the sky in the same way ever again.
ttfn, this is me. out.
"our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate
but that we are powerful beyond measure
it is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.
we ask ourselves, who am i to be gorgeous, brililant, talented, fabulous?
actually, who are you not to be?
you are a child of God
your playing small does not serve the world.
there is nothing englightened about shrinking
that other people around won't feel insecure around you.
we were born to manifest the glory of God within us.
it is not in some, it is in everyone.
and as we let our own light shine,
we consciously give other people to do the same.
as we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."
- Marianne Williamson