Saturday, April 29, 2006




go onto the UrbanWire and stand to win posters, movie premiums, tickets to the hottest clubs, your favourite music artistes cds, movie tickets to the biggest upcoming movies and more!

tell your friends! click www.theurbanwire.com. send us an email at urbanwire@gmail.com; tell us what you want to hear & who you want to see. and maybe we could make it happen.

only on the UrbanWire, your guide to the entertainment/nightlife/lifestyle world.

AND

think you can whip up a mean FIFA World Cup 2006 challenge on the Xbox? then, take on the Xbox Cup Singapore, to win an all-expenses paid trip to Berlin, Germany to watch the World Cup live from the grandstands and play your heart out against other Xbox challengers.

log onto www.xboxcupsingapore.com.sg/.

the challenge is on at Funan IT Mall and Bugis Junction starting on the 20th of May.

Register for the tournament now and the first 216 entries will each take home an ultra-limited edition Xbox 360/Adidas soccer ball! Plus a sports satchel, towel and water bottle!

heck. i'll even try out just to get the Xbox 360. : ))






Friday, April 28, 2006





-Valerie Anne-

[noun]:

A level headed person who always makes the wrong decision

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Gee. I never needed a guessing game to tell me that. heh.

here's to trying again...


-Valerie Anne-

[noun]:

A poltergeist sent back in time to change the course of history forever

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

now that's more like it. a poltergeist! : )) i imagine a wispy green outfit, tattered around the edges, with a beautiful black fitting bustier for a bodice and a white horse for a ride. how's that sound? won't i be haunting? *grin*






Thursday, April 27, 2006




AHHHHHHH!

valerie's very tired now. if you're looking for her, please come back another day, because she doesn't have enough time for you little people - all the big ass advertisers are sucking her brains out.

it's time for some absurd news!
two weeks into her job, valerie receives word that she would not be getting paid for the next 6 months! the lack of moolah has resulted in her going to the dark side - she will tell more in time. that is... if they don't fire her for making terrible coffee.

people, it's time to put money in the save the valerie fund!!! watch this page.






Monday, April 24, 2006




i hate class 95 at night, they play all those damned love songs.

how do you expect me to feel better if they keep telling me i'm stupid.

ugh. it's like telling a puppy that it's fat. puppies don't care; neither do they understand english other than their names, 'NO!', and 'bad dog' - but it's not very nice anyway.






Sunday, April 23, 2006




hearing aid: Girlfriend - 'N Sync

in the middle of the night, would he run to your side?
apparently, he would, and no amount of 'thank you's can tell you how grateful i am.

What my horoscope said today in The Straits Times:
"Sagittarius: Nov 22 - Dec 20
Been too busy to appreicate the things in life that really matter? It's time to slow down - way down - and get outside. Your system needs some rejuvenation that only nature and cherished friends can effect."

it's uncanny how the papers that pay people to make things up, can whip up something that truly makes sense. maybe these people should be paid more? umm.. nah.

it's crazy and absurd how much i like him, how much i care.
it eats me up inside because i can't hold your hand, or kiss you crazy.
"i would marry you, if i were older, settled, graduated, and everything more."

just so you know, valerie doesn't cry. and i lie too. ( :

no matter how many times they say "it's okay." it never is.
so when you see me, tell me, "it's now or never." and hug me so tight; the air is crushed out of my body.

the tim chapter may be closed, but i still see the light under the door : )






Tuesday, April 18, 2006




telephone conversations at 2a.m. in the morning don't ever seem to make sense. well, that is, until someone points it out.

so tim and i were talking about his barking dog.
i say, 'see, cats are quieter. they only meow and just really annoying when they are on heat.'
'in heat,' he corrects me.
'on heat,' i repeat.
'in heat.'
'in heat, on heat. heated.'
'a heated cat? so you pop them into the microwave and they get heated?!'

i should call the SPCA - in fact, i'm gonna leave the contact number on my fridge now. just in case; you never know.


ever wondered what level of hell you'll end up on if you continued living your life the way you do? find out here. my friend who was placed at level 7 concluded that those who got purgatory all lied. kids, don't lie.

so you know, i got purgatory; thus proven that i am a saint. *i didn't say i was a good liar in the quiz you know.






Sunday, April 16, 2006




it was a crazy saturday, eve of easter sunday.
starting from a lazy morning in bed, to a loud hollaback crew finals at the indoor stadium in the late afternoon, to stang's birthday dinner at the marriott, to the bus ride to MOS, and to the horrible feeling of light-headedness from half a glass of illusion (some green drink with vodka: i have declared myself to never drink vodka or anything with vodka again - bring on the tequila shots people!), to the assholes who grabbed my butt on the Smoove dance floor before i elbowed them so hard in the gut, to the 2 absolutely amazing retro hours in Room 54 with eldon and to the supper along river valley with tim and his work crew. to think, all this happened within 16 hours. i ought be receiving the award for most amount of things accomplished in less than a day.
"i would like to not thank my mum, for making me leave home in a huff. and also not thank my brothers who simply do not understand when we say, clean the house! and do the laundry..." oh forget that.

let me just say that dinner at stang's 21st birthday bash was AWESOME - food was orgasmic; just looking at the design could make your mouth water.

eldon and i were talking when the desserts came out.
'i feel great now that i'm stationed out of...' enter the desserts, 'now that i...'
'uh-huh.' myself eyeing the strawberry banana-chocolate mousse on caked tarts.
'now that i...uh...', the trays move in slow motion past us, 'i am stationed out of camp, you see...'
we're both holding plates of tempura fish and grilled hot portions of beef and chicken, with sushi and cold potato salad, eyes fixated on the chocolate mini eclairs and strawberry jelly shots as the waiters float about the floor.
'wanna grab some dessert?' i ask.
'yeah. let's.' we drop our plates and head straight for the banana-chocolate mousse on tart.
so much for abstaining from all things sinful. : ) i admit, i'm weak. how could anyone resist such ...ohmygosh... such *bites into the tart*... we orgasm on the spot. HAHAHAA.


LATEST HEADLINES
14 individuals were seen hopping off an excursion bus outside the Ministry of Sound, on Saturday night, April 15, 2006. Sources tell us that it was a rental. The bus driver, Mr. Bus says that the young adults ordered him to turn into the lane, so that they could look "cool".


HAHHAAA. Yes, that's me. and "i'm here for S R Nathan's birthday bash" - that was the super secret password for the party. how cool's that? : )))






Tuesday, April 11, 2006




'i've crossed the point of no return.'
'oh? and where's that? a step ago?'
'no. when i left the bar.'

so this is where we are, and i'm here with you.

and i thank god that i am here : )










welcome to the worst day in valerie's life. or what seems to bring the lowest of lows and doldrums is an understatement to how she's feeling.

leaping is about strength, about imagination and courage. for a single moment, you're the best that you can be as a cat. you're masculine, brave when you're not, and when you walk into a room, you look everyone straight into the eye. leaping gives you this and probably more.

it's time i tried to leap.


read: carl hiaasen's skinny dip.
review: hiaasen is superbly witty and makes "laugh out loud funny" insufficient to describe this satire writer; revenge has never seemed so glorious. a read for those who wished their husbands/brothers/girlfriends dead - i am now a fan.
rating: 9/10






Saturday, April 08, 2006




when strangers meet in singapore, they go 'eh.' this is to be coupled with neither a smile nor a bob of a head from either parties. i strongly feel that this should change.

i was at clarke quay one night; at about 3a.m., where i found myself greatly amused by the patrons of closing restaurants and bars. 3 caucasians and an asian guy were sitting around the table, propped up high on bar stools, drinking.
i nodded and smiled at them as they toasted their bottle of beers to me.
'where are you going, miss?' asked mr. angmoh 1
'to the bridge, over there.' pointing to the one that joined the opposing walkways of clarke quay.
'to jump and commit suicide? i sincerely hope not,' said mr. angmoh 1
the 4 men got off their seats, offering me a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to join them in hopes of postponing my plans of suicide. i declined, thanking them for being oh-so-kind.
'surely i won't jump,' i laughed. 'for if i had to, i'll rather try in waters not this dirty.' the men boomed with their hearty santa-like laughs.
'well, if you do jump,' mr. asian man commented, 'we'll jump in after you.' the men nodded profusely, probably hoping that they wouldn't have to keep to this half drunk man's words. 'you see, he can swim, and he can swim, and he can swim,' gesturing his companions. 'but i can't.'
'but you'd jump in to save me anyway right?' i joked.
'of course! but i warn you that you'll have to save me! so i'm hoping you'll save me from embarrassing myself and not jump from the bridge.'
'okay then, i'll save you this once so that you can learn to swim and when we meet again, you'll have the proper opportunity to be chivalrous and save this drowning damsel in the singapore river.'
i carried on my walk towards the bridge, thoroughly bemused at the other antics of crazy and halfdrunk men of clarke quay.

you see, when you chat with strangers, it makes the days brighter and nights lovelier.






Friday, April 07, 2006




"back in secondary school, you were unreachable." - joe skywalker.

was i really? this unattainable dream, the flavoured colours, and the easter bunny all rolled in one size 10 girl?






Wednesday, April 05, 2006




"hi, valerie please."
"yes?"
"it's me - timothy."
"timothy? timothy who?"
"from fairfield. 4c."
"oh? hi! how are you doing?" (i have no idea who tim is. i only remember tim from choir. haha. is that the same guy? oh yeahh. it just hit me - it is! the one with leon; no they are not queer. i'll be devastated if leon turned/was queer. haaa.)
"HAHAHAHA."
"nelson. that's not funny. you've done this everytime you call. new game please."
"HAHAHAHA."
"i am seeing someone called tim."
"that's not funny."
my turn to laugh.

all time sweetheart they may call us
but we're nothing sweet, and everything but.






Sunday, April 02, 2006




my entire household is sleeping, at 2 in the afternoon. make that my mum, brother, and sis. i was sleeping until the kittens jumped all over me in bed. stress not, these kittens are toilet trained, just not very disciplined. but they are, however, very smart. when we open the gate/door, they run far and fast. they know very well that they could be thrown out for the night.

we are still opening for adoption of these two kittens; oreo and captain. they are currently, just over 6 months old. they have been spayed (which means that they have no womb/ no offspring). why you ask? because kittens, like rabbits, have plenty of offspring - in the half dozens. they are toilet trained and do not like to wear collars. the reason why they don't like to wear collars is because they were abused before and someone put a really tight string around their necks.

when and if i get my hands on those fellows who did that, i will smack them so hard, their testicles will fly up to their eyeballs. i have learnt that you've got to be precise when threatening people. so how was that? : )






Saturday, April 01, 2006




Q: can one live in doubt?

i think it is the sureness of death that people are comfortable with. it is when the facts are set that there is no someone, willing enough to sound stupid, who would stand against it. so what happens when people when they are not sure?

"whatever tomorrow brings, i'll be there. with open arms and open eyes."

i need to be sure, without whims and fancies.

A: no. so we make up excuses, logical enough, to make ourselves feel better about what could happen.






APHRODISIAC
this blog was relevant to a ms. valerie anne from when she was studying mass communications in a singapore polytechnic.

she was aged 16 on her first post, and 18 on her last.

she is currently a freelance emcee-er/hostess.
contact her at
valerieanne @ cheerful.com


some might call me the ultimate sagittarian; free-spirited and whatnot, but i don't believe in horoscopes.

"everything gets complicated when you think. i don't discourage thinking, it's over thinking that i'm worried about." - val

TAG BOARD

none existent.

QUOTE VAL

i've moved on.


SPREE/SPLURGE

shop alot?

IN TIME I WILL

. make Valerie Anne are big name
. publish a book entitled "you better quote val, or else" - recommended by derek goh
. open a clip-on earrings shop
. open a cafe
. learn/speak spanish
. skydive over mauritius waters
. bungee jump from a suspension bridge
. get back into my dancing shoes
. set a world record for the longest time on a roller coaster ride
. save an endangered species
. AND prove to my mum that i'll be married before 35. HAHA.

BACKTRIPPING

2005.01 2005.02 2005.03 2005.04 2005.05 2005.06 2005.07 2005.08 2005.09 2005.10 2005.11 2005.12 2006.01 2006.02 2006.03 2006.04 2006.05 2006.06 2006.07 2006.08 2006.09 2006.10