; brazen and bold

don't sell yourself short.

that's what i know. i never want to settle for second when i can get the best. and when it comes to this situation, ... - oh shush.
so what if he's going to be around, i still can do my own thing riGHT? right? agree with me here!! anyhooha, like t. says, i can always do without a guy - because it's me. i don't depend on one, neither do i need one. so i can and will remain as single as single can get. go shoot yourself, you cacticowlikingjackinneedofpsychotreatment.
you go do what you want, and i'll go do what i want. and what i want to do is catch the play with him sometime late May.

had quite some time window shopping today with sandee in town. it's ONLY the first day of holidays and we're bored shitless. oh haha. we'll go with issey to malaysia another time oks.

i'm supposed to go get my eyes checked today, well, later - that's IF i wake up in time. appointment's at 10A.M. oh : ). will describe my new specs the next time.
it's the end of march, which means aprils is just about here already. no shopping. i refuse to shop.

i refuse to shop.

shopping is bad. it is bad for my health. and my health is my postbank account.

ttfn, this is me. out.

well, it's official. dee can't go to bali next week. which means, either i go myself or i just don't go. haha. of course i won't go - i'm not THAT much of a loner you know.
oh bugger, guess we shall see how the hols go, not that i've got much to do.
just:
1. foc (which is going to eat 3/4 of april) (which is good, cos april is my no-shopping month!)
2. the orange productions
3. no shopping
4. hopnite in june - getting djs and all don't really seem that much work right? right?

i can't remember loads of things now. nuts. somethings been bugging me, just can't put my finger on it - or well, i don't want to put my finger on it (for all i know, it could be something rather disturbing)

anyway, papers tomorrow. i'm actually looking forward to it, because after this, i will officially be done with mcm first year! whooopie! and then maybe i would have more time for church and more time for .. erhum.. more time in general. and then i'll live a lil more.

ok, what should i live by this year?
live and love a lil, that's for sure.
i can handle anything, & it'll be better.
AND what goes around comes around.

ttfn, this is me. out.

he (from now on, this specific he will be in pink. haha.) msged me to ask if i wanted to catch a play that's coming up. but of course, not with him.. maybe i'll ask sandee, but i certainly hope that he's asking me to go with him and maybe others too. *wait. what am i thinking?! oh dear.

anyway, i'm thrilled. and don't you dare take out the needle to burst my perfectly happy bubble - just yet. go spoil it for me when she gets back. for now, leave me be. let me bask in the utter joy of having someone like him around. so shoo yourself, begone my evil conscience.

ttfn, this is me. out.

happy easter and 2nd anniversary to lwmc (my church). i just got back. intended to go out, but go where and with who hmm? not him ok. i said it's over. besides he wasn't in my evoked set at all. was thinking of asking sandee.. i'll be seeing her tues anyway. so time for me-time!! : )
oh bugger. maybe not bugger ; ) seems like some people in church think that wayne and i are together, which we are not. (ohwell.) he's committed to the non-exclusive relationship with her. i'm happy for him! really i am. can't you see that smile? : )
somehow when i look at him i kinda wished i had someone like him. but of course it's only wishing *grin* was actually thinking of asking him to go watch the movie with ashton kutcher (hot stufffff) - something about love ruining a great friendship. oh bugger. if it ever comes up, maybe i'll ask. maybe. i'm not certain. so don't bet on it. it's a lil too straight up eh? hehehehehehe.
i think i'm suppose to catch it with t.? or maybe with sandee. see what's going on then.. let's not look too far yea?

ttfn, this is me. out.

oooooOOOh aaaaaaAAAAh.
i'm so proud of my finished product. yes i'm suppose to be studying, but oh heck. wanted to do something to this blog for so long.

i have made my decision. (finally)
it's over. (period)
i am going to tell him when i see him next. and who cares what's going to happen after, but i have to draw the line. now.
that settled, dee and i should be going to bali on the first week of april. and mum doesn't mind at all! she's like 'oh ok, sure! you gotcha tix?' omgosh! weeee
hope all goes well.
and medisoc papers on tues. eeeks. wish me luck.
i'm in a good mood.

oh gee. i wonderrrr why. maybe it's a certain fellow i've got in my mind now. just maybe you know. not really certain. as yet. *grin*

ttfn, this is me. out.

when there are shadows, there is a light nearby.

we finished editing today, with music overlay and all. it's completed!

and i have to say that i'm really proud of the final submission - a whole lotta effort and hard work from the team of bamboo shoots. like they say, bamboo shoots grow strong and tall! *grin*

oh well, *pshaw. haha.. yeah, i read that in some book i borrow with dee's library card today.

ok list of things to do:
1. get a dance partner for upcoming comp
2. find out IF i have the time to go for the upcoming comp
3. work things out with lex - find a solution first
4. concentrate on getting things in order for the orange productions
5. contact companies regarding rental of sound systems for hopnite
6. sleep more, and live in home a bit more is appreciated
7. do more housework - note to self: everytime i'm home, i shall sweep the floor, take down clothes (fold is preferable), and iron some of mum's clothes for her, and cook should the need arise.
8. and go to church!!

things NOT to do:
1. no shopping in the month of april (yes i have declared april 2005 as no-shopping month due to lack of resources.)
2. not to stress myself out - there's more to life than just working my butt off and the tv. haha..

life will get better.

when there are shadows, there is a light nearby

ttfn, this is me. out.

how do you break up with someone you're not together with? well, technically so.
definitions are required.
together: to be attached emotionally/physically/mentally to someone else, to be in a relationship with another, to have an inclination of emotions towards a person
break up: to severe ties with (extent varies)
and so, the question is how does one break up with another person whom you're technically not together with? ok, story.
there's this guy (oh yay.) and we've been 'seeing' one another for some time now. but it's just a relationship that won't go anywhere. i can promise this. thought about swearing. but nah.
it's been 2 months. and the thing is: he's in my dance class. buggers. so even if i do 'break up' with him, i'll still be seeing him around.
he's a friend. and i don't know what to do. help.

ttfn, this is me. out.

bauhaus. who's that?
speech comm. what's that?

it's over!!!

whoopieeeee.

freedom
pursed its lips
waiting and steadily knowing
finally the time has come
it escalates into a fusion of emotions
an emotion incomprehensible
inaudible words
unforgettable rush
freedom has been set
it has been let go of
the kite has caught the wind
the wind has lifted the kite
freedom

anyway, it's mass comm. sleeping is a luxury. a learnt lesson.

thank god for my classmates (t105) to bring me through, for sandee to keep me sane, and for his guidance for without it - i'll be lost. thanks for standing by me, because i know everything i've accomplished is by your hand that brought me through it all. with all my heart and soul, all's been much appreciated.

it's time to hit the beaches. the mall. the fun. and the sim's tour with dee.

ttfn, this is me. out.

one word. shit.
two words. "well done" - inspired by seah.
three words. CONGRATS chun lim - first place. weeee.
four words. don't please not now - later? never is preferable.
five words. sorry i didn't tell you - he isn't mad anymore!! yay.
six words. why did you take him away? - minus one for the men population of the world. but thanks for giving him to me even IF it was just that once.

oh bite me.

it's been one of the worst weeks in my life, and i have to say this just might top it. but well, never forget there's always something better out there.

filming was quite something. fri and sat went well, took sat night off so fel could run off to live a dream and the girls went to town - and surprise surprise, ended up in the same movie "lemony snickets"!! haha.. it reminds me of a time i once had.

anyhooha, sunday was terrible. terrible terrible. it rained and then stopped like over 4 times on us. gee, i betcha god was having a good laugh at us - silly people out in the middle of the field trying to get some shots while the sun lasted. then the horror of horrors came. and this is how the story goes:

person 1: oh no, it's drizzling again!
person 2: it's just a drizzle, why don't we wait it out?
(everyone waits)
person 3: it seems to be getting heavier. maybe it's a passing cloud again?
person 1: everyone under the umbrella. cover the equipment, don't let it get wet!!
(everyone is screaming and laughing under the mini umbrella which "shields" 7 people and a camera and tripod from the weather) - very successful. yes it was.
(person 1 and 3 is standing outside the umbrella soaking in the rain and the silliness of it all, laughing their asses off)

ah yes, person 1 and 3 is deee and me. we had a heck of a time. honestly, on sunday, i could have almost laughed til i cried in the rain. it was so funny and so sad - i could not decide which emotion to go with!!

the week's been sucha sap. sapping me emotionally and draining me physically. bah.

dance comp is tomorrow. weeee. wish me luck.

oh that reminds me. i refused to write some dumbjack essay to the jackhole about why i was late on tues (which was apparently an interview for possible candidates for committee). haha. i REFUSE. absolutely. for the reasons being that i do not want to be the person who wrote her way into comm, i am worth more than some dumbjack essay which i will not waste time on when i have better things to do. plus, cca points are no longer needed for local university entrance!! weee. so that jackhole can shove the damnshitwhichirefusetowrite up the hole that speaks in lies. go skrew yourself.

haha. feeling much better. yumchaing is good for health. didn't you know? or did you?

t. got mad. and i cried. for reasons i am not allowed to disclose as of now. maybe before i die i will reveal my dark secret. but til then, shut up and don't ask.

ttfn, this is me. out.